Our health care is great and people want to help

I have felt so much love this week. Thank you so much for the outreach in every form. It means a lot, more than I can express. 

I’ve gotten exactly what I needed this last 7 days to make this first big decision. From talking to those on the other side of this, those in the middle and most of all, my friend Leslie’s (who I just met in April playing tennis) husband who is an oncology pharmaceutical rep. Chemo was my biggest fear of all and he completely helped me see another side.

I did exhale a bit today after my second visit with Dr. Levine and another very handsome radiologist. As a teaching hospital, they crowd the room with residents but I didn’t feel at all put out by this because each of them came across as very sincere and professional. Let’s face it no one gets into medicine for the money or glamour any more. I have a feeling I’ll be doing more research and writing on health care and the impending changes proposed within the law passed last year.

I’ve been fortunate to not need the American health care system very much. But, from my experience this last month in both hospitals, we are blessed with a dedication and standard of care that simply must be protected and advocated for. 

Before I leave the health care industry, I must say too that so far my insurance carrier – Humana -  has been great.  When I first called about finding a facility “in-network” to get the mammogram, I spoke to a very nice woman. She was very helpful and gave me her extension. I call her regularly with updates and ask lots of questions. She’s been very reassuring that everything my doctor orders will be covered and I’ve learned that Humana offers services I was not even aware of like 24 hour on-call nurses for any concerns and discounts on alternative therapies. Stay tuned on this because the bills have not started to come in as of yet but that dread I had about insurance has passed. 

Here’s the break down of what I know as of today:

• Blood work and x-rays looked great. No additional cancer or problems detected at this point. Thank you, God!
• I’ll go in for a lumpectomy on Tuesday, August 9 at 8AM. I should be home by 2PM that day. Within a couple days, I can do basically whatever I feel like doing, including driving. There’s still a chance that more not good stuff can be found during surgery which could change the outcomes. For example, if the pathology is not good on the area surrounding the tumor more surgery could be required. If the “sentinel” lymph node is sick, then perhaps all the lymph nodes (up to 16, I think) can be taken which has implications for healing and later treatments. The “sentinel” is a lymph node close to the breast that is the conduit of sorts for escaped cancer cells. If that one is sick, it tattles on the cancer telling the doctors that more treatment is needed.
• A lumpectomy does require extended treatment to get the odds of reoccurrence down. I’ll do many months of chemotherapy following surgery and once that’s done at least one month of 5-day-week radiation. 
• For now I’ve asked for what I want and given him permission to do what he needs to do. I asked about getting a nose job and my eyes lifted during surgery, he said that was pushing it, but did tell me he would feel comfortable having his sister take the same course I’ve chosen. 

I think this first step will go smooth. The hell for me is going to be the many months of continued treatment and not being at full capacity – not knowing what future full capacity will look like. I’m going to have to make peace with time. I’m such a freak about time. I never expected to live past 30. Then Maggie was born at 33. Then I got to come home at 40. It all feels like borrowed time and I still have such a long list of things I really, really want to accomplish.

It’s like my Aunt Carolyn said, “You’re gonna have to get over a lot, including worrying about everybody else.”

I think this is permission to be selfish. It could get good to me and I’ll start expecting special treatment from now on. Maybe one of those really nice looking Jewish doctors is single? That’s probably pushing it already.

I’ve got to close with the rest of the tree story. Two weeks ago half of my big oak tree came crashing down. When I went out to see it in the faint morning light, I felt like the spirit of God spoke to me about pruning big but not killing the tree or me. This week my Dad and his friend Bill came and cleaned much of it up. Then a father and son team – the Michaux’s (I swear they look like direct descendants of Van Gough) – came and did the rest, including felling a very tall and leaning dead pine tree right outside my bedroom window.  Now that it’s all cleaned up, there’s all this fresh light coming into our yard and front windows. It feels good, open and new in a weird sort of way. 

Let’s hope that’s a good omen and that the oak lives. I’ve told God that if that tree dies he’s really ruined a great witness. 

Thanks again for the offers of help, support and prayers. I will continue to need all of that in the coming months. The hardest part still lies ahead.